Quote of the Day

Dogbert -

Remember that money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy expensive possessions that make other people envious, and that feels just as good. And, you can pay to have people whacked.

Quote of the Day

Kevin Lehde of Raleigh, N.C., a high school football official, notes the new National Federation of High Schools rulebook bans the "fumblerooski" in which a team deliberates places the ball on the ground, hoping the defense will lose track of where the ball is. The reason? Because this trick play often tricks the officials, leading to an inadvertent whistle - though coaches planning to call a trick play may describe the play to officials before the game. Lehde notes:

This means we now have a rule that was instituted as a direct result of the perceived incompetence of the officials calling the game! 'Our officials can't enforce the rules correctly, so let's alter the rules to reduce officiating mistakes," says the rules committee. Who do they think we are, U.S. - Mexico border guards?

Quote of the Day

Scott Adams -

Now, since I know from the comments that many of my readers are - inexplicably - also troglodytes, allow me to include a disclaimer here. I'm way more hawkish than you are. It just doesn't look that way because my thinking is that if a bully punches you, you should run away. Later, when he's asleep, put a bullet in his head and leave the gun in his little brother's crib so it looks like a sibling squabble. In other words (again, for the troglodytes) being tough doesn't require being stupid. It's totally optional.

Quote of the Day

Scott Adams -

I have a theory that only people who have never been rich would believe that the rich are routinely willing to kill enormous amounts of people to get richer. Personally, I've been poor and I've been rich. And I can speak from first hand experience about how it changes you. I'm far less bloodthirsty than before.

Quote of the Day

A. J. Liebling -

Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.

Quote of the Day

Deminski and Doyle are talking about people who don't follow racial stereotypes, so you have the Japanese guy who can't do math, the black women who like rock, and the Mexican guy who doesn't like spicy food...the best exchange:

Caller: I'm a gay guy and I don't talk with a lisp, I enjoy hunting and fishing, I watch football, and I drink beer. In fact, my idea of a perfect day is one where I spend the day fishing.

Doyle: I just don't understand that.

Deminski: What, you've got issues with him being gay?

Doyle: No, the fishing. Where's the fun in that?

Deminski: You know it's 2006 when you can understand a guy being gay but you can't figure out why anyone would want to go fishing.

Quote of the Day

Matt Stone, co-writer of South Park, upon hearing that Muslims throughout the world were rioting over a cartoon depicting the prophet Muhammad:

Oh my god, what have we done? I better find a lawyer.

Quote of the Day

Scott Adams -

I should note that I'm a vegetarian, but only for selfish reason. Saving critters from pain is an excellent goal if it's practical. But I can't reconcile that goal with what would happen if humans stopped killing animals. The alternative is to wait until the bears - for example - are about to copulate and then swoop in and place the condom on the boy bear without him noticing. Otherwise it seems to me that we'd have too damned many bears. If that happened, you'd be all 'Where's the remote control for the TV?' and your spouse would be all 'A bear is sitting on it' and you'd be all 'Again?!!' And you know how much you hate it when people say 'I'm all' instead of 'I said.' That has to be at least as bad as killing animals. That's my only point.

Quote of the Day

Napoleon Bonaparte -

Never attribute to conspiracy that which can be explained by incompetence.

Quote of the Day

Mickey Kaus -

Do you have an expectation of privacy when you check out a book from...the government?